At least the name is short.  The original name was “National Day of Prayer and Remembrance for the Victims of the Terrorist Attacks on September 11, 2001″.  Hey everyone, it’s NDPRVTAS day!

What’s more, this is a flag-flying day.  We have a flag, also a flag holder, mounted to the front of the house.  We usually forget to put the flag in the holder…now we have one more day to be delinquent about showing the colors. 

Don’t think me anti-patriotic (especially since my security clearance is due for re-investigation).  I serve proudly in the military and have since 1990,  earlier if you count ROTC.  I’ve been to dusty places far away a couple of times, and I’ve volunteered to go again.  I do super-sekrit work for Uncle Sam.  But I have to say, this surfeit of patriotism is getting on my last nerve.

Let me explain.  No, there is too much.  Let me sum up.  Flag pins on lapels?  Patriotism reduced to pieces of flair. ”God Bless America” during the 7th inning stretch?  We already have the national anthem (US and/or Canadian) at the start.  Did our glory wane in the 2 hours, 1 hot dog, and 4 beers between the 1st and 7th innings?  Baseball games are long enough.  Flags as decorations – on fence posts, in trees, bunting hanging from houses.  This one didn’t bother me until I thought of it this way: what if I was in another country and saw their flags adorning homes and yards in a similar manner?  Why, I’d think, “what a bunch of jingoists!”  That ties into baseball too come to think about it.  Hey, let’s all get together and sing about our country.  That sounds more like China, Cuba, or Venezuela than the good ol’ U S of A.  “Dear God, thank you for blessing us more than those other stinkin’ countries.  Amen.”

Oh yeah, and take that flag ribbon magnet off your car.  Tony Orlando’s song was about a newly minted ex-con riding the bus home after completing his three year sentence (brought to you by the same people who made Julia Roberts a loveable hooker).  Just get a flag magnet if you must…but riddle me this.  Do you love your wife/etc?  Why isn’t she/etc on a magnet too?  See, it’s better to skip the garnish and drive courteously instead, just like our forefathers, except they drove horses and wore fancy hats.

Now, nationalism isn’t bad in moderation.  Why, I myself own flag flair, in the form of Old Navy and Yosemite National Park 4th of July t-shirts.  I love them – I use them to dry my truck and they work great (just kidding – microfiber works better).  Can’t people be patriots by exhibiting the principles that this country was founded on?  How about tolerance?  Respect?  Driving while not talking on the phone?  Let’s show we’re patriots by more than the wear tin tchotchkes from Taiwan.  Do something American other than sing.

Let’s move on to the other half of this new holiday (which isn’t that new…2001 was when the NDPRVTAS proclamation was signed by G. W. Bush) – dead people.

I’m sentimental (if not sensitive).  I tend the graves of family members, the dead ones anyway, and I have rocks engraved with my 2 (dead) dogs’ names and a little saying about them.  I even carried their ashes across the country (I had no idea what I would tell TSA if I’d been stopped with a carryon full of ashes and bone fragments), hiked 4 miles to the top of a waterfall just to scatter them.

What’s with the crosses sprouting along roadsides?  Did the authorities bury the fatalities at the scene of the accident?  Aren’t there proper graves to visit?  My mom died in a hospital in CA – you don’t see me flying out there to tack a picture to the wall outside the room where she drew her last breath.

Now, tattoos…fine (no faces though).  Giant car window stickers?  I’m cool with that too.  But does every one of the 38,000 people that die each year in motor vehicle accidents need a public memorial?  Look, I’m sad people die in car wrecks, really.  I have a fear of something happening to my family and every night I thank God for another day with them.  But if one of my family members dies in a car wreck or crossing the street, I am not going to that spot to remember them.  “Yep, here’s where it all ended.  Let me reflect on their grisly demise.”

Perhaps the crosses are a warning.  “Be careful here”, their message.  If you ask me (and no one ever does) a sign would be much more effective.  “Slow down!”  “You’re sleepy – pull over!”  “Stop texting!”  “Burma shave!”

Combine the two, patriotism and death, and you get Patriot Day.  Funnily enough, that’s how Patriots’ Day came to be too.  Surprisingly (to me at least), I’m ok with it.  It’s like Pearl Harbor day for the modern era.  I don’t feel a need to have a moment of silence myself but if helps you through the day, then by all means reflect quietly.  However, I’m not crazy about the name (again, not asked).  Yes yes, we’re all patriots, God bless us, everyone.  Just the same, I’m not seeing the connection between the tragedies of the day and patriotism.  Sure, there’s the “mess with Uncle Sam and we’ll invade you” aspect but that came later.  Family…yes.  Sacrifice, yep.  Courage, definitely.  Patriot…not so much.  I think the day should be named “Hero Day” – it fits so much better.

One concern I have about Patriot Day is that it will become another mindless display of conformity… U-S-A, U-S-A, a la lapel pin/God Bless America.  Why, who could be against Patriot Day?  “Hey there buddy, I noticed you were talking at 8:46 am.  What are you, some kinda terr’rist?”  Heck, American Greetings has e-cards for the day (a nice message to remember every day, and as a bonus they’re keeping numerous hand models employed) – a sure sign of the coming commercialization.  Oh, Old Navy, where art thine Patriot Day t-shirts at affordable prices?

Don’t get me wrong, patriotism is a good thing.  It is not a ritual to be followed (like in Yankee stadium), with shunning following non-compliance.  Just know what you’re doing before you run a US flag belt buckle up that pole.

In closing, if I’ve upset you, riled you, or crossed you in any way, don’t leave a comment.  My staff has strict instructions not to allow angry, hateful comments through moderation.  Go here instead and get really mad.