It was good.  Mostly.  The veggie burger, not so much.  I washed the taste of it out of my mouth with onion rings and the usurial “daddy tax” I levied on the kids’ milkshakes…standard practice when I’m buying the tasty treats.

     Unable to locate official nutritional information on Fudds food I contacted the company through their website.  They asked for which items, I answered, they provided:

Here’s the available nutritional information you have requested:

Menu Item	Total Calories (kcal)	Saturated Fat (g)	Sodium (mg)	Total Carbs (g)
Original Burger, 1/3 lb	500	9	439	27
Veggie Burger, 1/2 lb with Wheat Bun	359	2	1114	63
Turkey Burger, 1/2 lb with Wheat Bun	627	11	974	42
Original Grilled Chicken Sandwich	540	4	1074	38
Kids Macaroni and Cheese (1 serving)	340	3	830	48
Fries, Small	296	3	572	36
Onion Rings, Regular	566	6	1367	58
Sweet Potato Fries	485	2	373	61
Vanilla Shake	630	18	411	86
Vanilla Shake with Malt	660	18	444	91
Cookies N Cream Shake	677	18	591	89
Cookies N Cream Shake with Malt	707	18	624	94

 Thank you for your interest in Fuddruckers.

     I thanked them then asked for the whole list.  They couldn’t go for that…no can do:

Hello Paul,

 Sorry for the delayed response.  I wish I could send you the information I use; however it’s an unofficial list and I am unable to do so.  We hope to have this information available in the near future.

 Thank you for your continued loyalty and patronage.

     So here’s the plan…everyone ask for a different item and post it in the comments here.  Eventually we’ll have a more complete list.

     In the meantime, I think I’ll stick to my regular turkey burger, skip the fries, and tax the hell out of the kids’ shakes…and my wife’s sweet potato fries!

Anyway, this is about Coke at Costco, not a show that “celebrates the beauty and sensuality of women”.  (That post comes later).

Coke is back at Costco, which is old news (always behind the times, I’d written about this little spat here and here).  The Coke products are more expensive than equivalent Pepsi products, but not by much.  So who won the battle?  Who knows, who cares.  It was a stupid fight to begin with (though I had to side with Coke). What I found noteworthy is the presence of Mexican Coca-Cola.

"Coke de Mexico" - it's like I'm back in California!

See?

Viva la raza, baby - it's the real thing!

I struck me as odd to find mexican Coke (not to be confused with mexican coke) in Costo.  Sure, there’s a decent sized hispanic population around here (Baltimore suburbs) but this is Maryland.  I’d be less surprised if I found Coke for sale in mason jars.

The magical Internet came to my rescue.  Apparently this is the Coke to drink because it’s sweetened with sugar and not high fructose corn syrup.  Double bonus – it comes in glass bottles.  You know it’s good if the New York Times wrote about it.

I was excited that Pepsi came out with their “throwback” formulation, also with real sugar…and I don’t like Pepsi (I gave it up after ODing on it in high school…same reason I don’t drink Budweiser, well, that and I’ve developed taste). 

Real sugary Coke in glass…well, smack my ass and call me Sally.  I’m buying me some of this love in a bottle.

I’ll have to keep it at work so my wife doesn’t find out…I’ve put on a couple (ahem) pounds over the last few months and she’s nagging me about it.  She’d probably be happier if I started using coke instead…until she saw my credit card statement. 

Wait, do drug dealers even take credit cards?

Crap, I haven’t had cash since my kids started buying school lunches.  I guess mexican Coca-Cola it is then.

I know that dealer takes credit cards…

Or so I thought.

I’d fallen off my workout regimen since I’ve been back, what with vacation and all.  Tomorrow I start back at work so I figured it’s the perfect time to start fresh with P90X, taking measurements and pictures as directed.

Stripped down to my skivvies, Louise tapes me.  16 1/8″ neck…that’s good.  I was up around 17 1/2 at some point in the past.

Hips and waist: 39″. 

Why, that can’t be right…how can I fit into 33″ shorts with a 39″ trunk?  I know what you’re thinking: “muffin top”.  I don’t have a muffin top.  Maybe a little bumper around the bodywork, but definitely not a muffin top.

Louise claims to know the answer…”vanity sizing”, she says.  Ha.  They only do that for women’s clothes…men don’t need it, right?  Right?

Wrong.

We measured.  Three times.  My 33″ waist shorts actually are 37″ around.  I even measured the measuring tape, just to be safe.

I’m crushed.

I shouldn’t be.  As my wife helpfully pointed out, “do you really think you’re about the same size you were in high school and college?  Come on now.”

Shut up, woman.

To prove her point I dug up some old pictures of me…pictures of when I was likely to have had a 32 or 33 inch waist.  I don’t think I look like that now.  My clothes have expanded with my waistline.

Stupid clothing companies, messing with my mind.  I’m going to eat some Ben and Jerry’s…that will make it all better.

I know how that sounds.  Don’t worry, it’s just my “man period” talking (or “manstrual cycle”, to be technical).

And now, I present Mini-me.

1985: skydiving for my 21st birthday

How could I not be cool with a radio tucked inside my shirt?

1986: Field training for Air Force ROTC.

"Top Gun" had come out that year and those of us going on to the flight screening program had just been issued flight suits, and, well...shut up.

1988:  Houlihan’s to Houlihan’s, across the Golden Gate Bridge.

Please stop staring at my shorts. My thighs chafe, ok?

1992: Playing basketball while deployed to Taif, Saudi Arabia

With a shooting technique like that, you know the shot went in.