Telly says I'm too smart to pay full price...that's why I'm a member.
Despite trying to keep my wallet on a diet it always creeps up to Costanza-like proportions. The leather in the wallet invariably stretches leaving my credit cards, my Costco membership card, and my Players Club membership card free to tumble out. My requirements in a wallet are three fold (not tri-fold):
- Be reasonably thin, so as not to break up the sleek line of my ass.
- Hold my cards securely. This rules out leather, because leather stretches and fail to hold the cards.
- Have a clear window for ID cards, preferable with a thumb hole to slide the IDs out. Entering a military base requires a military ID and it’s convenient to be able to pull my ID out quickly.
The last item was downgraded to a “nice to have” from a requirement when I couldn’t find a wallet meeting all 3 requirements. And as always, I try to buy products made in the USA.
Penultimate? You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Could plastic be the answer to my wallet needs? I first gave my consideration to the Jimi Wallet. I was tempted but didn’t pull the trigger. I’m a back pocket kind of guy and the Jimi is for the front pocket. And as much as I like to pretend I travel light, my collection of cards would choke poor Jimi. So he was out.
Next up, the SlimSlimmy. It’s another front pocket wallet, and honestly I don’t think I’m hip enough to carry it (though I love the name). It’s leather, something I’m trying to stay away from. All was not lost however…the SlimSlimmy folks declare their wallet the “penultimate in sleekness”. (I would have made the same mistake myself before I had kids and discovered Lemony Snicket) This means there exists one wallet even sleeker…
Could it be the ALL-ETT?
Doesn’t that sound like the answer to the question, “where’d the food go?”, asked way down south?
The ALL-ETT seemed like a winner. It met 2 of my 3 requirements and was reasonably priced. I liked the story behind it…thought up by regular folk, sold at a reasonable price. NPR did a segment on the company in 2005 and it appeared to be a nice local company, employing high school students and local seamstresses. The ALL-ETT website even has a fake TV interview…it’s so down home!
Screw sentimentality, though…does it perform? The reviews I was able to dig up were all generally positive – the only knock on the ALL-ETT was the crinkly sound of the sailcloth when the wallet is new. Priced at $20 how much did I have to lose? You might be thinking “$20″ but you’d be wrong. There’s a link that knocks 10% off the price so the ALL-ETT was only $17.95 + $2.05 shipping, bringing my total to $20. Exactly. So I guess you’d be right then.
That link (it’s not a promo code) is http://www.all-ett.com/promo. Hit the link, add a product to your cart, enjoy the discount.
I ordered the “original” ALL-ETT via the website and it arrived within a week, looking like an empty envelope more than anything. Time to break out the camera – I couldn’t fail to get before and after shots of my wallet’s tummy tuck.
I paid $20 for an empty envelope?
ALL-ETT, meet wallet.
Most of this junk, the contents of my wallet, had to fit into the ALL-ETT.
The ALL-ETT took it all in and is still thinner than my old wallet when empty.
It's a little bigger than my old wallet but fits comfortably in a back pocket.
The material is thin and light but feels strong. The ALL-ETT is sewn and seems well-constructed, but what do I know about sewing?
I’ve been carrying the ALL-ETT for several weeks now – what’s the verdict?
Wife – “It’s ugly.”
Coworker – “It sounds like a pile of leaves, but if the sound goes away I’d buy one.”
My opinion is the one that matters and here it is: I love it. It’s so thin yet holds all the cards I need. It’s got a pocket for money (like I’d ever have any…any cash we have around the house goes to school lunches) and a deeper pocket for receipts and condoms. I wouldn’t put a condom in the wallet, though, it would be too bulky.
Plus I’m married. So I’ve got no reason to carry a condom in my wallet, none at all. No reason whatsoever. I’m just trying to be a full service reviewer, looking out for those not as fortunate as I am, those that aren’t blessed with such a wonderful wife.
Is it ugly? (referring to the ALL-ETT, of course) I don’t think so. It’s a wallet; it holds my stuff, it goes in pocket. Who’s going to care how it looks? As if I’m going to pull it out at the store and some babe is going to think, “man, that guy is so hot I want to do him right here in the checkout line, but what the hell is with that wallet? That thing is ugly! Plus it’s obvious he doesn’t even have a condom in his wallet so forget it!”
Is it noisy? It’s crinkly when new, sure, but it doesn’t crinkle when you walk. With use the material softens and the noise goes away.
I wanted to stay away from leather because leather stretches and doesn’t hold the cards securely after a while, so I ended up putting all the cards in one slot to wedge them in. Does the ALL-ETT hold my cards securely? Well, sort of. The pockets are loose enough that a stack of cards will readily slide in and out but the design of the ALL-ETT is such that the cards only move 1/4 of an inch. Still, I’m careful not to throw open my wallet like Joe Friday flashing a badge…just in case.
I’ve developed a style of using the ALL-ETT that works well for me – I treat it like a little notebook or binder. I’ll lay the ALL-ETT open on the counter and fish out whatever I need. If there is no place to set it down I open it all the way around so the cards are back to back.
I’m making it sound more awkward to use the ALL-ETT than it is. The main problem I’ve encountered is that it’s hard to pull out bills. The material is thin and flimsy. When loaded down with 13 cards (like mine is) the ALL-ETT flops around and you have to be careful not to let it flop such that cards drop out…like I did at the airport. I was trying to fish out some cash to pay for a water and half my cards fell onto the candy bars.
My biggest gripe is the ALL-ETT is mostly made in China (an e-mail from the company stated the green and purple wallets are made in the US and the rest are made in China), when once the company employed local workers (according to the NPR radio piece). Did the wage requirements of high school students and work-at-home seamstresses go up that much? The ALL-ETT is so inexpensive now, tacking on another dollar or two per unit couldn’t make that much of a difference in sales. It’s a unique, patented product…consumers don’t have much of a choice when it comes to thin wallets made of “so-called spinnaker ripstop fabric, or other thin material of comparable strength” (according to the patent. Yes, I look stuff like that up, yet wonder why I never have any time).
Bottom line: does it break up the sleek line of my ass? Let me put it this way – if I had a nickel for every compliment I’ve gotten on my ass…I wouldn’t have a nickel. That’s more of a genetic issue than wallet-induced, however. As much as it can my rump still rocks my Jordache jeans, even with the ALL-ETT in place.
In the end, the ALL-ETT is extremely thin and very comfortable and is worth getting. The “original” comes in 5 colors but their website is functionally lame so there are no pictures of what those other colors look like (for those that care about such things).
Here’s that discount link again in case you scrolled past all my blather. Just hit the link and add something to your cart to see the discount.
reviewed 14 Mar 2009