First, a brief apology to my wife for what I know will be a disappointing post for her. There’s always something going wrong at home, from basement flooding to head lice (I know I’ve told her not to share her hairbrush with the other moms in the neighborhood…). She’s told me a couple of times, “I need a new post. Write something funny”, yet I’ve had my own things going on here and the funny just hasn’t been flowing. It’s like when I have to pee for a drug test. I can try as hard as I want but if someone’s watching it ain’t happening. So…sorry for the boring post, hon. And everyone else for that matter…I know long posts suck…so many words! I don’t like them either.
Follow my plan and you too can hit "reset" on your life!
As my deployment day drew closer I began to think, “why the hell did I volunteer to go overseas?” Mostly I thought that when I was sad about leaving the family behind. In truth, part of me was looking forward to coming here. I had so much on my plate that the forced simplification of my daily activities would be a welcome respite (and it has been). I’d often said that deploying would be like hitting the reset button on my life.
I didn’t know how accurate that statement would be.
Reset #1:I’m now looking for a new job in the Reserves. I was on the already on the fence about staying with my current unit, but after time spent navel-gazing here I decided it was best to move on. The reasons are long and complex and it would be neither appropriate nor interesting for me to discuss them here in detail. The short version is I didn’t want the job I would end up with and I didn’t want to work for the unit’s commander.
When the commander offered me that job I wrote him back and told him why I didn’t want it and why I didn’t want to work for him. I’m sure a simple “no thank you” would have been sufficient but I felt I should share my thoughts in a respectful and professional manner.
Yeah, that didn’t work out so well. He took it as a personal attack, struck back, and eventually cut off our correspondence. I suspect there’s more to come…but I can’t talk about that now.
Reset #2: I’m now looking for a new project in my day job (I work for a company under contract to the government). I guess after nearly 3 years the magic between myself and my government boss Pita (seen here) is gone. I’m not good with high-maintenance people (my bride will attest to that) so Pita is bringing back the person I replaced…a really good guy who isn’t much of a software developer but is great with people and doing the requisite government paperwork.
This doesn’t mean I’m unemployed – I’m still with the same company – I just have no work to do. It’s known as being “on the bench”. I’ll find another project to go to, and failing that, go to a different company.
Reset #3: I’ve decided to add to my household by picking up a Qatari bride or two (I think the limit is 4 but why be greedy?). My Internet access outside of work is through Qatar’s sole ISP, QTel (censored courtesy of the government), so the ads I’m shown are targeted at people in the Middle East. I’ve found the qiran.com ads to be quite intriguing.
It must be love...look at all the hearts!
My night off is Tuesday night; that’s when I chat on Skype with my family. I really look forward to it – while Louise doesn’t get a big thrill out of seeing my pixellated mug on her screen and the kids just want me to turn on the webcam’s special effects I love seeing the lot of them. The kids show me their latest Lego creations and last night our budding musician Jack played a song he learned on the keyboard. The connection wasn’t too good last night so we had to go to voice only halfway through Isabelle’s time but at least we got to talk.
Jack playing a tune for me on a really big keyboard.
My wife, it turns out, is a little stressed out. Not so much about Reset #1 (and she doesn’t know about Reset #3…well she does now but she didn’t then), but Reset #2 has her concerned. She’d prefer to continue in the manner to which she’s become accustomed, i.e. she doesn’t want to live in a cardboard box under an overpass, or move from state park to state park, camping 2 weeks at a time.
At times like this (i.e. she’s stressed out) our styles clash. I make jokes, good times or bad. It’s my way of being bigger than the problems, after all, if there’s something to laugh about how bad can things be? Louise prefers a more somber approach and feels my jokes show a lack of concern and compassion. I’m working on being better about it, just for her (even if she’s going to be augmented by a couple of non-English speaking women).
Because the network connection degraded, as all the day shifters awoke and jumped online we had to resort to typing to finish our conversation. Thus I am able to present an excerpt of our conversation, so you can see what she has to put up with.
[3:44:39 AM] Paul: you can’t worry about everything. let me worry about stuff too
[3:44:56 AM] Louise: the call keeps breaking up. i just want to say goodnight, if that’s okay
[3:45:08 AM] Louise: you don’t act like you are worried,–and that worries me! lol
[3:45:22 AM] Paul: I just handle it differently than you
[3:45:31 AM] Paul: We’ll be fine
[3:45:42 AM] Paul: and you didn’t lift your shirt up for me, darn it
[3:45:47 AM] Louise: that’s fine, but when you are so blase` about it, i think you don’t get it and don’t care.
[3:45:54 AM] Paul: I get it and I care
[3:45:56 AM] Louise: see, that’s what i mean.
[3:46:20 AM] Paul: I’ve got a wife with an uncontrollable spending habit and 2 kids with orthodontia addictions
[3:46:20 AM] Louise: this is important to me and you can’t even focus long enough for me to feel like you are listening
[3:46:22 AM] Paul: I get it
[3:46:26 AM] Paul: lol
[3:46:31 AM] Paul: Humor is how I deal
[3:46:34 AM] Louise: i’m not uncontrollable
[3:46:36 AM] Paul: you should know that by now
[3:46:48 AM] Paul: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
[3:46:53 AM] Louise: and you should know by now that i won’t laugh
[3:46:55 AM] Paul: take away her credit cards!
[3:47:01 AM] Paul: bwahahah
[3:47:04 AM] Louise: ha ha
[3:47:13 AM] Paul: you smiled, I know it
[3:47:19 AM] Louise: sure.
[3:47:23 AM] Louise: if you say so.
[3:47:26 AM] Louise: my eyes are killing me
[3:47:29 AM] Paul: you don’t have to laugh, but it works for me
[3:47:36 AM] Paul: well, your face is killing me
[3:47:47 AM] Louise: i just wish you would be a bit more sensitive to how i feel
[3:47:50 AM] Paul: ooh, call him butter cuz he’s on a roll
[3:47:58 AM] Louise: okay, clearly this is going nowhere fast
[3:48:04 AM] Paul: I am sensitive
[3:48:16 AM] Paul: I tell you everything’s going to be all right
[3:48:21 AM] Paul: I say trust me
[3:48:25 AM] Louise: okay, fine
[3:48:26 AM] Paul: I have a plan
[3:48:36 AM] Louise: no, no plan
[3:48:38 AM] Louise: we can’t afford plans
[3:48:45 AM] Paul: and you want me to what, go around saying OMFG!!11!!11!
[3:48:57 AM] Louise: this is not the time to break out and start your own business or anything insane like that.
[3:49:02 AM] Paul: no you retard
[3:49:08 AM] Paul: I mean a plan to stay employed
[3:49:12 AM] Louise: no, i don’t. i just wish you would show some compassion for a change
[3:49:25 AM] Paul: I have a plan to sell you to a russian businessman, that’s my plan
[3:49:36 AM] Louise: if he’s rich, i’m thre.
[3:49:37 AM] Louise: there.
[3:49:42 AM] Paul: woot
[3:49:44 AM] Paul: ftw!
[3:49:49 AM] Louise: okay, let me go.
[3:49:51 AM] Paul: I am compassionate
[3:49:56 AM] Louise: cindy is calling my name
[3:50:04 AM] Louise: not that much right now
[3:50:06 AM] Paul: cindy who?
[3:50:12 AM] Paul: cindy lou who?
[3:50:15 AM] Louise: cindy, my ice cream
[3:50:20 AM] Paul: ah so
[3:50:23 AM] Paul: Sure
[3:50:47 AM] Paul: but look at me…and the kitchen. Am I worried about it? No, because I trust you
[3:50:51 AM] Paul: Not because I don’t care
[3:50:54 AM] Louise: you should
[3:50:57 AM] Paul: I make better use of the kitchen than you
[3:51:07 AM] Louise: yes, and i recognize tat.
[3:51:07 AM] Louise: that
[3:51:10 AM] Paul: But I can let it go and let you have ownership of it
[3:51:15 AM] Paul: same with the money
[3:51:23 AM] Paul: I’m not looking over your shoulder
[3:51:37 AM] Louise: everything i have done or will do is with you in mind and what would please you
[3:51:40 AM] Louise: that’s been very important to me.
[3:51:50 AM] Paul: except lifting your shirt
[3:51:54 AM] Paul: but other than that, sure
[3:51:55 AM] Louise: sigh
[3:51:57 AM] Paul: lol
[3:51:58 AM] Louise: good night, Paul
With my luck it would start out like this...
We carried on in a similar manner for another 8 minutes or so, and I think I got her to agree to let me worry about the job situation, which was my whole point.
So what’s ahead? Beats me, but the unknown is always exciting and I’m looking forward to see how this turns out. After all, I’m still employed and if I can’t find another suitable contract when I get back from this deployment there are other options. I’ve got two companies waiting for me to return home so they can talk to me about positions and I have a number of headhunter contacts…I received an e-mail from one while I was writing this post in fact.
Of course, I could always start my own company. The government agency we support is extremely small business friendly and it wouldn’t take much to strike out on my own. However, my heart isn’t in government contracting…it just pays the bills so I don’t want to go that route. A little trivia…Pita once tried to persuade me and another guy to leave our employer, start our own company, and she would give us the contract (it was up for renewal). It took about 5 seconds to decide to pass on that offer…not only would it be unethical, there’s no way I wanted to tie myself to her for a living. Yep, made the right call there.
...and end up like this.
You know, I think I’ll just stick with my one wife too. She’s smart, she keeps me honest, she’s great looking, and not least of all she puts up with me (most days). That’s pretty hard to capture in a profile at qiran.com.
Life is like a snow globe – it’s more fun if you shake it up once in a while.
Ooh…maybe I could go into the t-shirt/fortune cookie business.
And on the bright side, things could be worse. I’ll take a reset over “game over” any day.
You’re crazy, but I love you. Mostly. xxoo.