Another case of the Mondays...on a Wednesday.
Fail #1: I’ve dropped the ball at work. I’m the project lead and half of a team of two developers (woo woo). I haven’t been posting new status updates to our internal project wiki, something I’m supposed to do each Friday. I’ve been busy coding, trying to wrap up some major loose ends before I leave in 3 weeks. So I just decided to not do them.
Hey, it works in the movies…
Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care.
Bob Porter: Don’t… don’t care?
And then he gets promoted.
I do care, actually, about my code – it’s a matter of personal pride. Status reports, not so much.
Fail #2: As it turns out, my government boss, Pita, (she made a guest appearance in this post) does care about status reports. Courtesy of Pita, I proudly present communication fail. Once again, actual e-mails in their entirety (except for her real name…I may be unmotivated but I’m not a moron).
From: Pita
To: MePaul,
Why do you think that a written weekly status is not important?
Pita
Is that a rhetorical question? Let’s find out.
From: Me
To: PitaSorry, I’ll get it updated by COB today.
p
Like how I sign my e-mails with a lowercase P? That’s because I’m cool and efficient. Or lazy. Anyway, my answer arrives quickly.
From: Pita
To: MeActions speak louder than words, so seriously, answer the question.
I guess her question was not rhetorical. I didn’t ask why, if actions speak louder than words, she wanted more words (an answer) than action (a status report). I replied that I’d been busy, didn’t have anything much to report anyway, and I’d be sure to use the new cover sheet on my TPS report.
I wish I worked with him. "I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills."
I don’t understand why she just didn’t pick up the phone and call. I have a phone on my desk; she has one on hers. Since we both work in classified work areas we both have a secure phone too. We could speak to one another using these modern devices quickly and efficiently.
My tech writer does not have a clearance. She works in the same building as me but in unsecured space that’s just down the hall. She asked if she could IM me if she had any questions. She has a phone and I have a phone so I denied that request. Instant messaging is the worst way to communicate as far as I’m concerned. The same information is exchanged (if you’re lucky) yet it takes at least 10x longer. It’s hard to code when you’re interrupted at random intervals.
Don’t get the idea I like talking to people. It’s just the opposite, in fact. The phone is the quickest way to bring things to a close and move on with my life.
I’m really not as much of an ass as that makes me sound, just so you know.
Contract work in the cleared world is a curse and a blessing. It’s a blessing if you’re a low-talent scrub – there are never enough people with clearances so companies will hire just about any cleared body to throw against a contract. It’s a curse if you actually do good work – contracts pay the same no matter how great the software is.
For example, let’s say you and one other guy write a program to support research efforts, and the program is so magically delicious it’s not only picked up by the operational and educational parts of the contracting government agency but by 4 other government agencies as well.
Peter Gibbons: It’s a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don’t see another dime; so where’s the motivation?
Where indeed, Peter Gibbons.
I love your Office Space references. Such a sad work we live in sometimes.
Heck, they’re getting rid of our voicemail to save a buck! No more voicemail – seriously!! Talk about the many levels of ridiculousness.
I’ve been self employed so long that my wife says I’m ruined, meaning I could not hold a real job. I’m thinking that’s a good thing.
Steve: No voicemail? How expensive could that be? “And by getting rid of voicemail we’re in the black and the company is saved!”
Tony: You’re my hero. Truly. You’re a pilot and you have your own business? Livin’ the dream, brother.
Yup. They also (I wish this was a joke) supposedly turned off the lights in the vending machines in some locations to save money. Then they had to send out emails to everyone telling them they weren’t broken, since the natural reaction to a dark vending machine is that, um, well… it’s off. On the bright side, we’re doing well in Dayton and I like my job!
But yes, Tony is indeed living the dream.
At the government customer’s site they’d done the same thing. They put stickers on the vending machines to let people know how green they’re being. They’ve put these stickers everywhere, in fact. In the cafeteria there were stickers on the napkin dispenser (“giving out only one napkin at a time saves waste because…”) and the plasticwear dispenser (“these forks have been redesigned to use less plastic thus saving…”).
Since my tax dollars pay for those napkins and forks, I guess it’s ok.